Maturity

The Art Of Being Completely Responsible For Your Actions

Maturity comes with experience and not age. As we grow our brain changes and we can react emotionally, creating mood swings and irresponsible behaviour, especially when we are younger. One of the key factors in maturity comes from the ability to delay gratification, something when young we find hard to do. As we mature with age, we begin to recognise nothing is as good as it seems, the same as understanding nothing is as bad as it seems. We become more pragmatic. We begin to resign ourselves to understanding things will be what they will be. As we mature into adults, we can accept compliments more easily and manage criticism better, without allowing it to create a distorted view of who we are. We become secure in our own identity regardless of what others think of us.

The experiences we collect along the road to personal maturity allow our decisions to be made based on our character and not our feelings. We start to live by our core values and principles not by reacting to the opinions of others. If you think back to your younger days you might remember how you believed you deserved everything and gratitude was often misplaced but as you have gotten older you have become more grateful and consistent with the bigger picture.

When we are immature, we tend to feel more rather than thinking things out, reacting over consciously acting. Mature people have patience. They will look at wisdom before acting because they no longer profess to know everything, they are always open to learning something new. They know they do not have all the answers. Only the wise will seek out wisdom from others.

I am a great believer that the biggest step towards maturity comes from owning your mistakes and learning how to apologize when you have done something wrong without making excuses, instead problem solving and finding ways to put things right. There is nothing to fear when it comes to being vulnerable. Maturity allows you to always be willing and open to share your personal struggles with others, helping them to feel less alone. There is no need to be perfect all the time when you are emotionally mature. Being honest about how you feel in the moment builds trust with those around you. You do not have to always have an agenda anymore or put on a happy face for the sake of it.

There is no doubt that your mind influences your behaviour and your outlook on life. Understanding the root of your anxiety, stress, depression, all symptoms of immaturity and how you handle them comes from uncovering your inner potential. Learning about yourself and understanding what it is that is keeping you trapped in the past with your painful experiences and causing you to be constantly guided by your negative emotions, is all about unravelling your mind and allowing forgiveness in, for yourself first and then others.

If you have reached adulthood clogged up with undigested life experiences and you have an inability to forgive yourself and others for the way you feel about yourself and life, you are unlikely to experience good mental or physical health. If you live you every breathing moment feeling bitter, resentful, angry about something that has happened to you in the past or you are guilty and ashamed of things you have done, it is essential to learn to let this go and move on. Immaturity means being imprisoned constantly living in your past. Forgiveness sets you free to enjoy your future. 

When we have any experience in life, it is an opportunity to learn and grow. If we insist on thinking about ourselves as the victim of our circumstances, it becomes almost impossible to change anything because we build our sense of self around negative wounded feelings and our self-esteem becomes non-existent. Reaching a state of maturity means you have learnt to let go of the past, created a positive and empowered self-image which allows you to build your sense of self as strong, capable, and completely independent of your lying mind.