Could A Sex Free Life Keep You Young?
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder which means beauty doesn’t exist on its own but is created by observers, especially these days where photoshopping, plastic surgery and selfies have become the normal way to express self-confidence when in reality the perception of beauty is in fact subjective, how we as individuals look at and interpret things.
At almost 65, after a lifetime of relying only on what I know suits me, (this sense of self unchanged since the age of 12), unbreakable built in self-confidence and a really healthy lifestyle these days, I can say with complete integrity and clarity, beauty comes from loving yourself inside and out, which in turn creates true happiness and radiates energy to others beyond the way you look.
As the head of a fashion brand I spend a lot of my time having my picture taken which at any age can be challenging in a world where perfection as I say is now skewed but no matter what others think about me or these pictures, I am more times than not very happy with the way I look even in my mid sixties and never spend hours taking selfies and editing them to get the perfect picture.
People often ask me "What's your secret?" how I manage to pull off my youthful, healthy, happy persona, shocked like it is a unthinkable challenge and I always reply with the same answer, I do the work, it’s not a miracle.
Being fabulous, admired even envied used to be quite a curse in my youth. It is a fact beauty and confidence can leave you as the wall flower when it comes to being asked out by the opposite sex. I was often the only one without a date but these days I get asked out more than ever before, I have a lot of fun and I no longer gauge my success on what others think but only on what I think.
For most, my daily lifestyle regime would be too extreme to contemplate because without the dedication, desire and determination, "I want to be slim healthy and fabulous more than I want to drink, eat, party and have sex", reaching the end of life the way you began life, full of beans and raring to go is probably never going to happen.
So let me take you through my daily routine and how I have achieved a happy, healthy, balanced regime that works for me, keeps me young and helps me preserve and protect against the ageing process in order to live longer and enjoy being alive longer, always optimistic and never closed off to any possibilities that may come my way. And before we begin, just so you have the heads up, it is not easy.
There is NO such thing as an instant fix, miracle cream, magic pill, potion, lotion, or cure for reversing the aging process and although there are expensive quick fixes available, botox, fillers, photoshopping apps, diet pills etc, long term they will leave you looking more like the beast and not the true beauty you really are.
We all feel beautiful when we fall in love or lust, you know that feeling right? However relying on another person to make you feel like this can be dangerous because it can only last as long as the other person is prepared to keep up the work to keep you feeling happy. My advice, do the work yourself instead to achieve this feeling, then attract into your life the person you deserve not have to rely upon. Then if it does not work out you are not left devastated and deeper in the depths of despair, down beaten and desperate, blaming the world and not yourself for the failures but have the coping skills and strength you need to bounce back.
1. Waking up early refreshed rejuvenated and ready to start a new day is in my opinion the beginning of any new possibilities in life, if you are raring to go with unlimited energy and gusto, the world is your oyster.
2. Going to bed early, not eating anything after 6pm, drinking plenty of water and meditating before a good 7 hours deep relaxing pleasurable uninterrupted sleep is the key to achieving the above.
3. After a light but healthy breakfast including some fresh fruit, I have avocado on brown toast (with a poached egg) or porridge, (I have made the switch from vegetarian to vegan) then a daily 30 minute power walk in the countryside or round the park, is in my opinion the only way to start your day, if you want to feel productive and energized.
4. Now the tricky bits, no alcohol, no smoking, no snacking, no caffeine, no sugar, no fizzy drinks, no processed fast foods, no moaning, no negativity, no being lazy and no worrying about what others think. A treat means having a little of what you fancy now and again so I have chocolate, a glass of wine now and again if I fancy it which is actually very rarely but I am never tempted to indulge because I am pressured by others, I have a mind of my own and I use it moment to moment.
5. Having a purpose and being kind to others, never judging but always being open to help or give to those less fortunate, volunteering my time and listening is a daily mantra I try and follow because it keeps me grounded and focused on my purpose, to feel happy and fulfilled.
6. We are what we eat so a healthy diet, plenty of water, exercise and using a good moisturizer twice a day plus a weekly facial is all I do for my beauty routine avoiding any thoughts of the quick fix like putting poison in face like botox or fillers. I may have one facelift later when I am older but who knows I may not need it.
7. Finally is celibacy healthy I hear you cry. I believe for me not having sex is the main ingredient that keeps me young and vibrant and after 15 years of being happily celibate by choice I can honestly say I don’t need anyone else in my bed to complete my life. I am not saying everyone should give up sex because if you have devoted your life to being with another person sex is an integral and very important part of this union. I get asked in life coach sessions all the time why do couples stop having sex, particularly by men or is sex before marriage OK. I am not an advocate of marriage per se, for me an outdated feudal contract that doesn't really serve a purpose in todya's society however if you are going down this road, I wouldn't want to be stuck with bad sex for life so common sense would tell me to read the small print before I sign. Later down the road lack of sex in relationships usually stems from lack of communication. If you are in a relationship and find yourself celibate anyway, perhaps you need to sit down with your partner and question why.
8. I love my life, I love my energy, my life force which I have learnt to amplify and realised radiates around me for miles and leaves a lasting impression whereever I go but with this, to others almost brutal lifestyle template, I also come across negativity and judging. My secret to getting around this is to ignore it. And anyone brave enough to confront me with their opinion, I just say thank you.
I know how hard it is to just even contemplate change when you believe you cannot do it but trust me the key to any successful achievement is all about desire, taking back control, ignoring what others think and believing in yourself that you can do anything if you really want it enough.
Think about the last time you really wanted something, then think about how you went about getting it, then think about if you still wanted it after you got it. Often when we think we want something it is not actually the case but instead what we see others have, believing subconsciously if we had the same we would be happy too. Trust me when I tell you the key is finding out who you really are and what you really want comes not from copying others but from discovering the power you hold within yourself and learning how to use it.