Suicide

Every suicide is a devastating tragedy which almost always stems from a deep feeling of hopelessness because the person suffering has an inability to see solutions to their problems. We all at some point in our lives have trouble coping with challenging circumstances but most of us can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Most people including myself, the survivor of a suicide attempt, go on to live happy fulfilled lives, so no matter how hopeless you feel, there is always hope.

Battling depression is the main risk factor for those contemplating suicide but not the only one. Those with chronic pain, alcohol or drug abuse and people who have had a family member kill themselves in the past are also at risk.

A state of constant depression truly warps the mind, often leaving the person suffering believing the world be a better place without them. The dark destructive inner voice is constantly planning ways to commit suicide in those who are suffering with mental health issues, some just exploring the possibilities of dying to escape, others going through with it. Suicide is a mystery for those left behind who are plunged into a life of purgatory, enduring feelings of blame and regret they did not recognise the signs before the event.

I have attempted suicide myself and am eternally grateful today to still be here happy, fulfilled and alive to tell the tale. The truth is, from my own experience of losing all hope, suicide comes over you like a black cloud full of overbearing thoughts, worries and emotions so powerful, its hard to stay focused and in control in the moment. An overload of negative emotions is just as powerful as an overload of happiness and often the feeling of being out of control can lead to extreme disappointments in both cases. 

The apparent senselessness of suicide often fuels the most significant pain for those left behind and to be honest this was the biggest thought I had after my own attempt at killing myself. It made me realize I was very selfish to land that level of pain on my friends and family without at least reaching out for some support and help.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem always. If you are reading this and feel like you are drowning in quicksand battling a complex rush of emotional overloads like, sadness, anger, guilt, hurt, mental pain and anguish, wanting to die please try and breath, relax then step out into the fresh air. Changing your surrounds, often changes your perspective long enough to take back control of the situation, so you can reach out for help. 

Reaching out for help from others is not a sign of weakness, infact it is an extremely brave thing to do. The only reason people don’t do it is because they have so little regard for themselves, it is hard to imagine that others care about them but trust me they do. Suicide isn’t easy for most people to open up enough to talk about, it took me a long time to be open about my own journey with near death but today I am so happy I am able to be completely open and honest about it.

There isn’t a foolproof fix for suicidal thoughts, and it’s not always easy to see when someone is contemplating suicide. Committing suicide is a terrible way to die because the mental suffering leading up to the event is often prolonged intense agony with no magic medicine to the acute pain felt inside. I could give you a long list of tips on what to do but in reality, at the moment hopelessness takes over hopefulness, all you can do is remember things can look different and will be different one day.

Photo by: Radina Romanova Unsplash